- Before jerking off : i would literally suck 6 dicks rn
- After jerking off : men are gross
don’t ever take me on a date to an aquarium because i will ignore you and spend the whole time looking at the fish
But, if you think about it, that’s all the more reason to go. The person you’re dating gets to sit back and watch you smile and have fun. All the while, he/she’s falling deeper in love with you.
thatS REALLY CUTE IM GONNA CRY
*deletes your messages off my phone to symbolically delete you out of my life*
“what happened to real music”
when your mom comes home and you forgot to thaw the chicken